The other night, I had dinner with a friend. This friend has a personal coaching company they’ve wanted to get off the ground for many years. They’ve spent an exorbitant amount of money on coaching trainings, getting certificates, developing a website, dabbling in social media marketing, attending even more trainings, and maintaining an on-and-off presence on Facebook. They’ve also worked with a few clients using the Zoom platform over recent years, and then it all just… fizzled.
Each time we get together, the topic of their coaching goal surfaces as if it was previously recorded and put on pause. The sad part is that this friend—a beautiful, smart, talented, giving, and magnificent human with so much potential—has convinced themselves that just one more training, one more certificate, one more something will be the final ingredient to their success.
They tell me that they are burnt out, discouraged, and wonder if they even have what it takes. What they haven’t considered is their way of thinking is what’s holding them back.
Stuck in the Comfort Zone
Something I hear frequently when working with groups is, “It will all be better when I get there.” When I ask where “there” is, they look at me dumbfounded—unable to find an answer. I also hear “I’m almost ready to go after my dream, but I need one more thing.” When I ask how long they’ve hoped for this dream—and what progress they’ve made toward it—they stand in silence, counting the years gone by and knowing they’re no closer to actualizing this dream.
I have some of my groups listen to Nickelback’s song “If Today Was My Last Day,” and I invite them to live in that question. Tears run down their faces as I ask them, if today was their last day, what do they hope others would say about how they lived? But more importantly, how would they personally want to say they lived?
I ask them to consider what price they’re willing to pay by living partially, never getting to their dreams. What is the price they’re willing to pay to miss out on all life has to offer, playing it safe and comfortable while what they say matters passes them by?
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why some people get their dreams and others don’t? Do you attribute their success to them being smarter, better looking, more privileged, having more money, or other thoughts clouding your mind? How much time do you sit in comparison, keeping you from embracing the awesome, talented person you are? Who told you there’s only one winning spot, and if someone else gets it first that means you won’t?
Have you ever noticed that when your head is full of unnecessary chatter, your feet aren’t moving forward? How often do you take a step outside of the comfort zone, only to jump right back in when you get uncomfortable and don’t have a guarantee on what comes next?
How often do you dare yourself to dream big and make the decision to step into the unknown because you decided that what truly matters to you is worth the risk and you deserve it?
How Successful People Escape the Comfort Zone
For many years I have studied what successful people have in common and why they are living their dream. I’ve observed they have:
An unwavering, passionate commitment to their vision.
Self-awareness and self-confidence.
A knowing they are capable and equipped.
A strong will that is unwilling to quit.
A willingness to get uncomfortable.
A value for time.
No time for considerations, excuses, or blaming others.
The ability to not get caught up in minutiae, and an acceptance that life
has a "Habit of Happening."
Courage to think differently.
A love for what they do.
A belief that life is a “get to.”
THEY OWN IT!
Here are a few tips to take the first steps out of the comfort zone, staying in the growth zone, and leaning into what you say matters:
Honestly ask yourself “if today was your last day,” how would you be willing to live?
Make a list of what truly matters to you, most important first.
Envision it coming true! Feel it, taste it, live it, be it! Claim it as yours!
Write a detailed action plan that you are committed to no matter what. Give the action plan a timeline, dates, deadlines, etc. Be specific! (Every day I will ___ etc.) Each week will bring you to a determined goal, and each month you will be closer to the target. Rinse and repeat!
Find an “accountability partner(s)” that will support you while holding you to your word. Give each partner(s) a copy of your list and action plan.
Put your list everywhere you can to see it as a reminder:
Bathroom mirror
Car dashboard
Refrigerator
Computer
Cell phone (etc.)
Anytime you hear yourself saying “I have to,” immediately change it to “I GET TO.” Step into gratitude, put a smile on your face, have fun and enjoy the ride. Dare to dream; the time is now, so go for it and OWN IT!
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