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Are You the Star in Your Own Life?

star shape standing in a spotlight on stage

There is a question that I often ask myself: am I the star in my own life?


I wonder if today were my last day, would I be living my dream—my greatness—fully? When my feet hit the floor each morning, am I excited to take on the day with all of who I am? Do I look in the mirror and like the person staring back at me, knowing that I gave it my best? Am I 1000% clear on who I am and what I stand for? Am I living my purpose? Am I the starring role in my own life?  


It may sound silly, but I used to imagine that I was walking through the door of a movie casting call. I could see myself gracefully walking to the front of the room, Hollywood producer types sizing me up from their directors’ chairs. Dressed perfectly, standing calmly, well-rehearsed and ready to go, when they asked my name I would answer in the perfect starlet voice with a coy smile and giggle. It was my ongoing fantasy, and it was so real to me that sometimes my heart would start racing; it was a blast to pretend I got the part and became a superstar!


If you were asked to be in the movie “Your Life,” what role would you be cast in? Would the casting agent see how extraordinary you are and cast you as the star? You may be thinking, “But I’m not star quality—it’s not my personality. I don’t even like being seen or being the center of attention. I don’t want to be a star, and I don’t believe everyone is made to one.”


Okay, I hear you. In that case, what do you think a star is?


How I Redefined My "Starring" Role

I have been on stage as a singer, appeared on TV shows, interviewed on podcasts, spoken on radio shows, modeled, been published in a book and on and on and on... But, it was during a team & leadership development program provided by my company that I truly became the star I was meant to be. 


My staff stood sharply dressed—in logoed shirts and khaki pants—looking like the dream team they are, geared up and full of purpose, ready to get out there and make a difference with the group soon to arrive. An enormous luxury liner tour bus came rumbling down the road, loaded with corporate adults anxiously awaiting their “wilderness challenge” to conquer the high ropes course.

These high-achieving executives bounded off the bus wearing the perfect outdoor enthusiasts’ clothing, overpriced water bottles peeking out from day packs full of popular protein bars. I didn’t know Patagonia jackets came encrusted in diamonds, and I cringed when I imagined them dropping their $5,000.00 sunglasses from the top of the ropes course! Let the day begin! 


I stood in the background while my facilitators greeted this glamorous group, guiding them to the activity area. They zoomed right past me like I was invisible, not knowing that I was part of the team and certainly not the company owner.

Feeling slightly disregarded, unimportant, and a little ego-bruised, an unexpected smile came across my face. I decided that for the rest of the day I would be a silent servant—incognito to create a space for my incredible staff to shine as the superstars; all the credit belonged to them.


With lunch time approaching, I went to the camp kitchen to help the cooks set up the space in a way that would be acceptable to this “high end” corporate group. By the time lunch was over, my makeup was gone, my hair was frizzy, and my shirt was covered in remnants of the taco bar the group had happily devoured. I was a sight for sore eyes.  


As the group left the dining hall to “conquer the high ropes course,” it hit me that the chairs for the closing debrief needed to be set up—lots and lots of chairs—and there was only me and a rapidly ticking clock. Energized by panic, I started setting up those heavy metal chairs.

Row by row by row.

100 chairs later—soaked with sweat, heart pounding, arms unable to function—I heard the group approaching the conference space, and I hid. They came bounding in, euphoric and enthusiastic, following close behind their personal facilitator who had become their hero for life.


The group took their seats, and my staff took their place on the stage. I stood quietly in the back of the room, in awe of the incredible human beings standing proudly on that stage. I knew, without a doubt, that they had fully lived their purpose that day, and as a result, many lives were transformed.

It was then that the entire corporate group jumped to their feet, yelling their facilitator’s names at the top of their lungs, clapping ferociously, giving them a standing ovation!


This was the day my life changed; I realized I had become a star maker. I didn’t need to be cast in a movie, or be front and center anymore, because now I got to be the star whose purpose is to shine by being in service to others.


Starring in Your Own Life

I hope my story gives you another way of looking at what a star can be.


Here are questions that may give you a new perspective and encourage you to seize the leading role in your life as the star that you are, and to live each day like it could be your last:


  • What does being the star in your own life mean to you?

  • What internal conversation about yourself keeps you from being the star in your own life?  

  • What star qualities do you already have, but may have forgotten or not recognized?

  • Who do you admire and see as a star and why?

  • What is something you dream of doing or being that you really want?

  • What are you willing to commit to having this dream become your reality? 

  • Think of a time you shined as the star in your own life, and no one even knew?

Now go outside, look up at the stars and claim the one that is yours. It has been waiting for you.

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Outstanding message! Sometimes the STAR, sometimes the Star Maker, sometimes the servant leader. Always 100% me.

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